


Flower Bloom

by peacemonger98



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, IT'S ME, M/M, PTSD, guess who's back to hurt their favorite pairings!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 11:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6751648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacemonger98/pseuds/peacemonger98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Most common in patients 19 years and older. Incurable, but treatment can improve way of life. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia, and self-destructive behavior.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flower Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> there may be triggering stuff idk?? look at me hurting my favorite characters again next thing you know I'll be writing Daisuga with hurt/comfort. Part two of forcing my mental crap on characters :DD

_PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Most common in patients 19 years and older. Incurable, but treatment can improve way of life. Symptoms include flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia, and self-destructive behavior._

Oikawa read all this on his too bright laptop screen in his too dark room on this way too late night. Click on another link.

_Hypervigilance is described as an enhanced state of sensory sensitivity accompanied by an exaggerated intensity of behaviors whose purpose is to detect threats._

Oikawa's eyes darted over to a corner of his room where he saw movement...a small moth that flew in when he opened his window hours ago.

A little voice in the back of his head whispered something about needing sleep. But, sleep wasn't possible. Not tonight. Tonight was too loud and too filled with shadows of his past. Tonight memories weren't whispers of occurrences passed, but screams of unforgettable tragedies.

More commonly known as flashbacks. Click on another link.

_A flashback, or involuntary recurrent memory, is a psychological phenomenon in which an individual has a sudden, usually powerful, re-experiencing of a past experience. These experiences can be happy, sad or any other emotion one can consider._

Tonight, they were angry. Click on another link. Read more about this intangible destructive force waging war behind Tooru's eyes. Anything was easier than paying attention to it.

Of course he didn't let on when daylight came knocking. Put on a smile, dress like a model, act like nothing's wrong. No amount of fake bullshit could fool Iwaizumi, though.

He saw through every plastic smile and gesture, but indulged for the sake of his friend and partner. Some days, he'd come home to their shared apartment to find Tooru staring at a muted TV show in his pajamas clutching a pillow tighter than one should.

He wouldn't touch Tooru on those days. He'd make him some tea and set it down in front of him on the coffee table. He'd take the fluffy comforter off his bed and drape it over Oikawa, being careful not to touch him. He would announce whenever he walked into the living room from wherever he went, so as to not startle his boyfriend. Oikawa appreciated it more than he could express.

Other days were violent and ugly and almost unbearable. Iwaizumi would walk into their apartment and announce himself while toeing off his shoes when he'd be almost tackled to the ground by an ugly, crying Oikawa. He'd be violent and weeping and wailing, _"Why me? Why did this happen? Why did I trust him?"_

Iwaizumi would take his quivering love into his arms in a hug just on the side of too tight. Tight enough to let Oikawa know he was safe now. He could no longer get him here. In his strong, unwavering hold, fists would ball into his shirt and a wet spot would manifest on his shoulder.

Tonight, though, was bad. Click on another link. Ignore the pounding and screaming. Reread the page. Click on something else. Look away from the pain. Click. Ignore. Click. Numb.

Tooru read things he'd read countless times before. Hypervigilance. Insomnia. Flashbacks. Hands going down, _down, down NO Stop PLEASE NO._

Slam the laptop shut. Go under the covers. Ignore. Numb. _STOP_. Ignore. Cry. _Please don't do this please just st-_

"Tooru?" a gruff, low voice calls out in the darkness. Oikawa hears sleepy steps come towards him in the dark. For a second those footfalls aren't his beloved Iwa-chan's but someone else-

"Were you on your laptop again?" The mattress creaks under the weight of another body occupying it.

"I don't know what you're talking about Iwa-chan. I was sleeping until you rudely interrupted me." Of course Iwaizumi doesn't buy it. But he wraps his arms around Tooru's shaking body anyway. He holds his boyfriend close, close enough to hear his fragile heart beating rapidly.

"...Hajime?" A low questioning noise in response. "I'm sorry..." A tugging of Oikawa's head to Iwaizumi's chest.

"You hear that?" Tooru nods in response, still keeping his head on the other's chest. "That's my heart. It beats for you. All of you. Even the ugly parts." Iwaizumi cards his fingers through Tooru's soft locks more gently than Oikawa thought him capable of. "Like your hair."

That earns a small smile from Oikawa and a light hit on the chest. "Rude..." He falls asleep to the steady beat of Iwaizumi.

The next day is a Saturday, so practice isn't until the afternoon and there are no classes. Iwaizumi lets his troubled boyfriend sleep in. He needs it. And he may also be making some alien shaped pancakes with chocolate chips for eyes.

When his boyfriend does finally wake up, it's to the smell of chocolate and the sight of Iwa-chan in an apron. He knew this was going to be a good day.

He sits down at the little kitchen table and is greeted by comically bad alien pancakes. He decides against teasing his little cook just this once. _We must let Iwa-chan have his pride sometimes._

Once he finishes eating, Iwaizumi hands him a piece of paper. Confused, Oikawa accepts it and reads over what's printed. Iwaizumi beats him to the punch.

"I went online and found all the mental health doctors in the area covered by our insurance. I think it's time you got some...professional help." Oikawa can tell he doesn't want to do this. Iwaizumi is sitting stiff as a board with an expression on his face as if he'd lost a battle, his jaw clenched tightly.

But, they both knew Oikawa couldn't keep going on like this. There's straining oneself and then there's being unhealthy. He'd ventured over the border of mental unhealth long ago, so he knew it was time.

So, the two boys went through the proper channels. Iwaizumi made the appointments and Oikawa continued to wage war with his own mind. Soon enough, he was in to see a doctor. He walked in expecting to be asked one thing: "What happened to you?" He expected someone to sit and listen to him talk then give him a diagnosis.

But, that didn't happen. The doctor went over his family tree on both sides, whether they had mental health or substance abuse problems. Only after a half hour of his doctor talking to him about mental health and the importance of psychotherapy did she ask him about himself. He described a few of his symptoms and feelings to her.

She pulled out her book and read to him the symptoms he described and what they were linked to: PTSD and underlying depression. It was no surprise to him. Yet, coming out of someone else's mouth made it more real than it had ever been. She scheduled him for another appointment and instilled in him some hope. He hadn't had hope in a long time.

He slowly got better and Iwaizumi helped. When a nightmare would slash and claw at his sleep, his Hajime was always there to hold him gently until he was ready to slumber again. With his therapist, he slowly picked through his past until it was all out on the table. That process was more painful than he expected.

What was more painful was putting it all back in. He had to come to terms with what happened, with how it affected him and how he could move on from it. All the while Iwaizumi stood by his side, whether that was waiting outside the doctor's office or learning more recipes to cook because Oikawa sometimes just couldn't.

It was slow going and painful, but worth it to see. Iwaizumi watched his life long best friend and partner recoil from the world, then finally open back up to it again. He saw more genuine smiles and less fear of touch. Despite all he'd been through, the bruised and beaten flower that is Oikawa bloomed once more.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed that. Please leave comments and kudos anad let me know what I should write next below or on tumblr (wolfenshire.tumblr.com)


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